Today really settled my decision. Caleb called this morning and said he really had a craving for biscuits and gravy. He wondered if I would make some and we could all have breakfast together. I told him if he would sweep and mop my floor I would do biscuits and gravy, so he did. Right after breakfast I was so tired I couldn't stay awake, so I went back to sleep. Caleb woke me at 11:30 because someone was here to talk to me. As soon as they left I went back to sleep and slept until 6:00 this evening. I got up because Jared called. I have made myself stay up, although I cried for an hour over I don't know what. It's 9:00 and I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. Yes Rachel, you are right. Every time you call I am sleeping! I can't help it. When they increase my meds they make me so tired I can't keep my eyes open. After a while I adjust, but then it's time to increase them again. In 4 weeks I think I will be at the full dose. I don't know why I cried today. I think it's been really difficult to make the decision about school. If today had been a school day, I couldn't have gone. I need to stay home and take care of myself and my family.
I don't feel like I can quit yet, although I may end up doing that in the end. I am going to ask for a medical leave of absence for the rest of the year. By then I should know what I am able to do.
Thank you for the uplifting, encouraging comments. They help a lot. I know no one else can tell me what to do, but the support makes a difference. I have to remember that I am still a capable competent person, the Lord just has a change in the plan and I need to adjust.